Akiramenai Moon ~The Meaning Behind Life~
by melody-chan1
Summary: Edited and changed. More of Ruki, and this is about her feelings towards her mother and a little of Jenuki hints in here. Of course, more towards her family life. And if you want to know what makes Ruki cry, you've really got to read this.


Akiramenai Moon ~The Meaning Behind Life~

**About this Story:**

Don't stare. This is my first, very first Tamers fic. I repeat : I haven't watched any episode from Tamers yet. So I'm only an amateur to it which means that if I do really get any personality wrong here, this is a fanfic and anything is possible. _Anything is possible, right?_ One of my very first family life fic, I'm gonna try this idea anyway. This fic is about Ruki and her mother - family life, that is. It's also part Jenuki fic, which means that Lee is gonna come in anytime in this story. And of course, Takato. It's how Ruki wants to face life - and how she is doing it. Quite a sweet fic, really. 

**Notes:**

At this time of writing, I do not know much of Tamers yet. So any mistakes, please forgive me. And I don't know Ruki's mother real name, so I'll just refer to her as Miss Makino. Quite a polite term, isn't it? Oh yes, this story will keep changing narrators. It first starts with Lee and then to Ruki. That's about it. Oh yes, all names will be in Japanese. 

**Dedications:**

This fic is dedicated to Chibi_Pikagirl ( my best friend ), mornin ivy, my cousin yukimi-chan and to litecrystal of polarities and to those Jenuki fans out there. 

* * *

_If life was an island, this girl would lose her way in it, forever... ..._

I used to think of Ruki as a ruthless fighter that keeps getting herself into trouble with friends and all. One day, she came looking for me and Takato. _"Let's fight, Takato," Ruki said, quite coldly._

I stopped Takato. _"Why do you like fighting so much? I hate fighting. Our digimon shouldn't be used as fighting tools. Right, Lee?" Takato turned towards me._

I gave Ruki a cold look. She seemed to ignore my eyes. I tried to catch hers. _"It's none of your businesses why I like to fight or why Renamon is a fighting tool for me. Where's Guilmon?"_

Ruki gave me a hard glance. She seemed to feel my thoughts. Some genius. Yes, a genius with a heart of ice. I just don't understand why she can't treat Renamon a little nicer. It's a digimon. I treat Terriermon as if it was a real human. Terriermon is my friend, after all. _"I don't have a heart of ice, Lee Jenrya! You're not me, how can you understand my thoughts?" Ruki shouted._

She then walked off. I then picked up my bag and went back home with Takato. I have to admit that I didn't really put this matter on my mind. Then Takato interrupted my thoughts. _"Lee, why do you and Ruki quarrel as if you were worst enemies every time you meet? Yes, she is a little unreasonable, with her fighting pschology. But why can't you be friends? You used to said that Terriermon was your friend, so why can't she be your friend too?"_

I smiled at Takato. _"It's a different case. Terriermon's amiable and nice to be friends with. But Ruki, she's hostile and cruel.. You get what I mean?"_

* * *

"Ruki, you're home already? The water's just right, do you want to have a bath first before you get down to homework?" 

"Anything." 

"How's school today?" 

"Just fine," I replied. I was sitting at the opposite side of the dining table, so that I was just facing Mother. I chewed on my piece of chicken and Mother just kept smiling. 

"Oh yes, my colleagues would like to meet you, Ruki. They heard about you and they really want to see you. Could you spare me some time and go to my office with me tonight?" 

"We'll see." 

"Splendid! Do me a favour please, can you put on that pink frock I bought last year during Christmas? You haven't even worn it yet." This time, I kept silent. I put down my chopsticks and got up. I went into my room and locked the door. I.. I really wanted to cry but just couldn't force the tears out. I felt as if no one in this world understood me at all. I thought about Lee. _"I don't have a heart of ice, Lee Jenrya!"_

No matter what, I'm still human. And as a human, I have the right to get angry and upset. I don't understand why I loved fighting so much. Ryo used to say that it was because my nature told me to do so. My surroundings, he explained. My mother was a model who brought me up single-handedly. My father? Heaven knows who he is. He said that it's because of that reason, that I hated my mother. Probably because of that, I started hating her. Do I hate my mother? I never realised that. But I know, I was just trying to make her unhappy. _"Ruki, is it worth it screwing up your life over your mother? Just to make her unhappy?"_

Ryo had said that the last time we met. I don't know when it was. Other than him, no one else would pick up a fight with me - and no one else understood me. All of a sudden, I really felt like calling Ryo up and talk to him, even if it was to end up in a quarrel. But then, he was said to have disappeared months ago. And that was how I won the Battle Card tournament, because he was not there. That was what people said. 

I sat on my desk and a small book caught my eye. I held it in my hands and flipped through it. I saw my childhood photos. I used to experience times when I was walking with my mother on the street, and a lady thought that I was a younger sister. My mother waved at her. I was only eight at that time. Actually, not just that lady. Lots of people had thought that I was a sister to Miss Makino, the famous model that has her posters stuck all over the place. Can't be helped. My mother is just 17 years older than me. 

And then I saw a picture of my kindergarten class. How many real friends have I had in this life anyway? Not hard to count. None. I used to have a classmate who would talk to me all about her affairs. And then she was killed in a car aciddent not long after I went to Elementary School. Then the phone rang. _"H..He.Hello? Is that Ruki on the phone?" _

"Yes, I am. Who may that be?" I asked. Hardly anyone gave me a call. They were all afraid of me. 

"Hi! My name is Katou Juri. I'm a friend of Lee and Takato and I just wanted to say 'Hi' to you." Say hi to me? For what? 

"Urm.. Hi to you then." 

"Sorry for disturbing you, shall I hang up?" 

"Oh no, I just wanted to find someone to talk to. How did you get to know my phone number?" 

"Lee told me your number. Oh yes, he wanted me to apologise to you for him." 

"Apologise?" 

"Yes. He said he was quite..urm..sorry for scolding you just now." 

"It's all right, I'm used to it." 

"Oh, that's good. Really, I shan't be disturbing you now. Bye-bye." 

"Bye.. ..." Juri hanged up the phone. 

Her sweet, innocent voice reminded me of how Renamon used to treat me. Renamon.. She came to me, but how? I knew she wanted a Tamer, but of all people, me. I just found her one day, and she came to me. But have I been treating her like a partner? I guess not. Lee was right. I did have a heart of ice, maybe. But.. This kind of feeling is a little funny. I just can't put it into words. 

I waited for my mother to go into the bathroom and I slipped out of the house to take a walk by the river. 

* * *

What is up with Takato anyway? He made Juri call Ruki to say that I wanted apologised to her. Come on, like I would do something so stupid? Think about it. If Juri wasn't a girl I would have given her a punch back there. I then left to take a stroll by the river. 

As I was thinking about what had happened that day, I saw the person whom I didn't want to see at all - Ruki. _"Hi, what a coincedence," I said, trying to be a little polite. I don't know what made me did that. _

"Shall we have a talk over this?" 

"Talk? What talk?" 

"Given your personality, you won't have apologised. Takato did it, did he? Do you know that in this world, no one understands me? When you said that I had a heart of ice this morning, did you know how hurt I was?" 

Speak up, Jenrya. You know you want to tell her off. _"Yes, Takato told Juri to call you. And? So what if you felt hurt? Renamon could have been a thousand times much hurt than you! She left - And it's all because of you!"_

And then I felt really bad. Ruki did the last thing I had expected to do : She cried. Right in front of me. _"True, it's all because of me that she left. But have you ever spared a thought about me? All of you claim that I hurt Renamon! But things wouldn't turn out this way.. If only I wasn't Ruki Makino." _

"What do you mean?" I handed her a tissue. 

She then sat down on a bench. "How many siblings do you have?" 

"One. A younger sister." Ruki wiped away her tears. 

"How about your parents?" 

"My father's a Chinese and my mother's Japanese." 

"What do you think about mine?" 

"Your mother's one of the most famous models in this place and your father is.. He is.." 

"Stumped, right?" Ruki gave me a glare, a glare that seemed to reflect tears and unhappiness. "I don't have a father. No one knows who my father is, not even my mother. That's why I started hating her ever since I existed. For not giving me a complete family." 

"That's it? It doesn't seem to be reasonable cause." 

"No. My mother never understood me. She thought I was just like any other girl in the street. She wanted me to be like her. And I hated her because of that." Ruki then fought back her tears, as it would seem. "And then.. Whenever we went out, she always told other people that I was her sister, and not her daughter. Why? Because she doesn't want anyone to know that she has a daughter younger than her by 17 years!" 

Ruki then cried again. I handed her another tissue. 

"Lee, do you know that no one ever understood me? Ryo did - and then he left. For what reason, I never got to know." 

"Ryo? Was he the guy who defeated you in the Battle Card Tournament?" Ruki nodded. 

* * *

I don't understand why I told everything to Lee. I guess I just needed to let out my thoughts. I never wanted to cry in front of him, but I just did.. 

"Ryo was the guy who defeated me. He told me not to screw up my life because of my mother." I then felt the tears rushing up to my eyes. 

I really needed peace, and then the two of us just sat in that bench until sunset. 

"Ruki, I'm sorry." 

I turned to Lee. "It's all right. I needed some peace too. Thank you for listening to me." I smiled at him. 

"Anything for a friend." Friend? He treated me as a friend? 

"What did you just say?" 

"I said that I would do anything for a friend." 

"Friend? I'm your friend?" I couldn't believe my ears. 

"Right. Takato said that you could be a friend too. He was right there. You're not that bad after all." I smiled at him again, and I went back home. 

* * *

~The End~


End file.
